Chuck's Harem

From the Depths

2007-04-20T17:38:00.001-07:00

Can you see me?

2005-07-10T22:20:00.000-07:00

I want to know if people still come here. If you do...put your name in the first box and your reason in the second....and click send! YAY!

I'm just so excited!

mambo mambo

Heh...heh...heh...heh.

Etc...

2005-07-06T16:52:00.000-07:00

If you are here reading this....you shouldn't be, you need to go to the other site, I know that they are basically the same thing, but you need to get used to going to the other one, think of this as gentle prodding.....just don't go off on a tangent with that thought.

Looky looky!!!

2005-07-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

WE ARE A .COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES YES...we are, truly. Come and see us, we are so cool now man!!!

ChucksHarem.com what do ya think about that...eh???

LarryGirl signing out...man...ehe...yeah!

I have decided to follow Jesus

2005-07-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

yea....that and other things.

For example, I've decided that it would be PRUDENT of me to act like the blogging queen that we all know I am and POST.

I've also decided that throughout this POST any words that start with P will be capitalized.

Because it PLEASES me.

So, we went witnessing. We went witnessing on the beach. We went witnessing on the beach with "strange truths". We went witnessing on the beach with "strange truths" and guitars. We went witnessing on the beach, with "strange truths" guitars and "the Final Stand". We went....

Okay I'm done being repetitive, I am no longer PLEASED with it.

So, Beach, strange truths and Final stand. Yea, the video, with a PROJECTOR and a large bathroom wall......on the beach.

We got there three hours early, passed out strange truths, then the rest of the team decided to show up. By this time.....I dont think any one liked me anymore. I shoved "the great whore" mag into their hands a bit too many times. I guess it was a slightly less PROMISCUOUS crowd. PITY. I finally PAWNED them off on my unsuspecting PARTNER. *cackle*

Then we PROCEDED to hook our PROJECTOR and speakers up to a generator and PROJECT "The Final Stand" onto the PUBLIC bathroom wall. Oh Joy. I've never seen it that big before, got to see a few things I some how managed to miss before....and for good reason too.

We only got through two and a half songs, before the "coppers" came with their mighty megaphone and threatened us with their keys of entraptment. I tried to tell everyone that our keys of "imprisonment" were much mightier. It didnt work. We shut it off.

All in all though, by then end of the evening the entire area was saturated with the word of God. We had passed out nifty fliers PROCLAIMING ourselves as PROPHETS and telling everyone to "Be there" to "know your future". We also PASSED out blue 666 POSTERS. I like blue.

Then when everyone had went home and the last team was there, we met two HOT 18 year old boys, got them saved, invited them to our barbeque etc. They Rocked. (P)THE (P)LORD (P)ROCKS!

(P)WHOOO HOOOOO!!

I was stoked.

Tomorrow we are going to go see "Rebellion of David" PLAY at a coffee shop up in LA.

Then we are going to come home and have a hawaiian/Mexican barbeque and dance. yeeeesh!

The contrast between these two activities is a little intense. I dont think I can handle it.

I'll just have to throw my neck out headbanging(SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) and "miss out" on the highly conflicting mambo jambo that'll be going on...oh well PTL! heh

Well I'd say that was a fairly cataclysmic POST. I hope I spelled all the P words correctly. For some strange reason, they all seem to be sticking out a bit more then usual.

And that's all it PLEASES me to say.

-The Master
(who is learning humility)
(and who is not PROUD about being The Master)
(and who can't do anything right without the Lord)

P.S. I also gave away my favored PAIR of flips to my best friend TG today. Because the Lord told me too, because her feet hurt and my PRECIOUSES were stupendously squishy. I really didn't want to, but the conviction of the Lord was bearing down upon me. Hearing from my Lover completely changed my PERSPECTIVE and suddenly I was feeling compassionate, which is a big deal, for me. It's wonderful what having PAIN yourself can do to your PSYCHE.

But what this P.S. is mainly for is for TG to know that the Lord said He REALLY loves her and REALLY cares about the PAIN that she is in. It has a very good reason and, won't last forever, He told me so.

You know, that was like a damn good lesson! I think someone should illiustrate it and send it in to the "Kids Mop"

*sniff*

Well isn't this fun?

2005-06-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

WOW...We've gotten quiet FAST! Well then, I guess I will just have to change that!

HAHAHAHAHA....As if!!

As I once told my parents at the age of 4 "Mommy, Daddy...I'm boring!" And as my father would say to me when I was 13 "Michelle, never get near a stage. The only thing you could do up there is put everyone to sleep!" (He will never admit to saying this)
And so is my life, but I don't mind in the least! Everyone has a place in life, entertainment is not one for me, I can live with that!

But I thought that I should again fill you in a bit on my life here in my home. If you get bored feel free to stop reading.

Have you ever seen a totally committed mother crawling franticly on all fours growling like all sorts of weird animals, her hair sticking up in all directions, just to keep her small child entertained?
Well, that right there describes me, most of the time...Expect the mother part...heh...!! *Slaps head, and faints*

In any case, the other day I was watching Danny boy (B-E-A-U-TIFUL Child) And we decided to play "hide-and-go -seek" in our living room (I am glad it was quite-time or else people might have chanced upon me in this state).
Me and this great kid (That just learned how to walk by the way) were having so much fun crawling and running as fast as we could, around the couches. He was screaming with glee, and I was laughing my head off (Not a pretty sight). We jumped all around, and I think he has finally learned to like me!! :)
What I am trying to say in all of this, is that, it has been awhile since I've been on childcare. And making this switch back has not only been a daring experience for me, but an exciting and fun one as well. I have found so much joy in taking care of these kids (Not to say it's always peachy, kids will be kids...eheh!) and have learned many lessons through it already, and I know I will learn more.

I may sound like a mother already, always posting about the kids and stuff. I guess its such a part of my life right now, and almost everything the Lord is trying to teach me now, has something to do with them. Not to mention they are great kids!!

Oh and as a side note, I want to send out a LARGE thank you to the wonderful and sexy women of the Harem! You girls have proved good friends and wonderful people that deserve only the very best that this world has to offer! Thanks for being you!

And for something for everyone out there to read...."WHAT THE HELL IS LETHARGY?" Enjoy!

LarryGirl signing out... (notice I am now LarryGirl instead of just Larry?)

R3

2005-06-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

We've started an "R3" inter-harem-wise, it's very cool you should try it, I'm sure someone else will post details about it soon....just wait.

What is happening

2005-06-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

A few random things in my life...

My sister MarieAnne had her 24th birthday on the 22nd of June. I took pictures with her and ran around, wrestled and played with my 4 year old nephew... Lost a pair of earrings. And flirted with my VERY large brother-in-law. *grins*

despite her situation she was looking beautiful as always. My sister has what is called Crohn's Disease http://www.ccfa.org/info/about/crohns if you want to find out what it is. She went down to 89 pounds and was not doing so well. But on this visit she was looking better. Her skin looked healthier and she was as happy as her bubbly personality has always been, nothing dampens her spirits.

But please do add her to your prayer lists. She still needs it. Pray that her diet will start working, and that she will gain the weight she needs. Thank you!

Other then that...This week has been like every other week. Teaching the children, (great kids) teaching them to swim...Always a pleasure to see your hard work turn to something good. Something real that will last forever. A human soul that will be grown one day, and living a life of its own, with the knowledge you placed in them.

I have already seen the progress...The baby laughing instead of screaming when his dipper is being changed. The fact that he is now walking, but when I first came he could only crawl (and its only been a month) Not that I even had anything to do with it, but seeing lives change and grow.

Its something that will never grow old, even as we become adults, we never stop learning or growing. It is part of life. I see my life changing all the time, I see others change as well. Everything we go threw is just another step we take to make us who we are...

And such was my week...Enjoy yours

Larry signing out...

Random Highlights

2005-06-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

This post is going to be a culmulation of everything I have not posted about since my last post.

Alert: Mom! Dad! It's your anniversary today! If anyone knows how to get in touch with my parents can you alert them to this ASAP? They've forgotten, I know it. Well, congratulations on 22 years of marriagehood. You are both very five star. Thanks for creating me.

Kudos: Happy Birthday Steph! A whole 20 years old, you old hag.
The corn is green
Morgan Evans
Madam?
Everybody hates me. Everyone likes you!
69.....69.....69 (in a singsong voice)
Hello Peter

I don't expect anyone to understand that but Steph. I miss you you wonderful person. Come back to me whole please? I pray for you every day.

The Painfully Obvious: So we went to Mexico. What they said.

Announcement #1: I have decided to marry Timmy. There is a perfectly sound line of reasoning behind this. See, I figure every quality, sold-out, revolutionary, buff, understanding, sensitive , buff, and married SGA guy in the Family today, was, a decade ago, just like Timmy. So I figure if I marry him now and give it a decade or two, I'll have it made.

It's foolproof.

Announcement #2: The haremites decided to have a commando day at the office in the near future. I cannot at this time disclose the proposed date of said venture for security reasons.

Happenings: I hated my cubicle today. I wanted to revolt. We almost convinced Chuck to pass the office right on by on the way to work today. There were no grownups to stop us. We could have spent the whole day frolicking and no one would have known. Sadly, Chuck, it appears, is a slave to routine. We ended up at the office. I invited John to vandalize something with me. He prayed for me instead.

Cause to rejoice: Amy's home. My life has meaning once again.

Random observations of the week: I want to be like Chuck. Phil has very thick calves. I observed this at devotions this morning. Like a samurai. I miss Jer and Kevin. I hear Jer is nice now. I would like to meet the new Jer. See, I live with them when they're skinny and mean.....Miami gets them when they're buff and humble. At least that's what I hear the new Jer is like. Tan too. I'm going off on a tangent here.

Spiritual insert: I feel guilty making a post without mentioning something that distinctly defines me as a Family Disciple. Blogs can be hazardous in that way for we who are supposed to walk, talk, live and breathe the creed. A random stranger could stumble onto your blog and never find out what it is you do or believe. Remember the "if someone observed you for a day" prophecy? I'm compelled to blog the creed as well. So.....to everyone with access to it, reread "Wartime" at this, the halfway point of the year of strengthening. Puts your life in a whole new perspective. Note how many times the Lord says that we have this year to prepare. This year is halfway over. Do you feel ready to batter down the gates of hell? Do you think you'll be ready in six months at the rate you're going? What are you doing to get ready? These are questions I've been asking myself after reading "Wartime".

Like I said, a whole new perspective.

I have the body of a God........Too bad its Buddah

2005-06-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

Yes well...I couldn't think of anything overly exciting to say about our frolick in Mechico. All wittyness has been stolen by my witful haremites.

However, I am determined to say SOMETHING about it, since it was, after all, a united harem activity, and I AM the harem Master.

But first I'm going to make a confession.

I didn't tan.

Now, now, let me explain. If you were casually walking down the beach, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, and you came across a life sized Buddah in all his lilly-white glory, lying face down on the beach...roasting...what would you think?

That's what I thought. I know I'm not the only one worried about keeping my complextion translucently white! I have modeling contracts! The Michellin Tire company would sue me! I've been their mascot for years! I can't go brown now!

Plus...I have special needs. It takes alot of work to keep my figure. I have to eat at least 20 times a day! I need special rice balls!...I...I...

I knew you would understand. Thank you, Thank you my public!

Now that I feel more comfortable with all of you, having shared that. I can move on.

I must admit though, I spent most of the time down there behind my computer....meditating on things like...."floating" and..."class declaractions" and....

$salt = "0123456789abchefghjkmnpqrstuvwxyz";
srand((double)microtime()*1000000);
$i = 0;
while ($i <= 7) { $num = rand() % 33; $tmp = substr($salt, $num, 1); $pass = $pass . $tmp; $i++; } print $pass;

uhuh. Did you get any of that? No? Me neither. I fried my brain instead of my butt for two days.

Other then that.

I love Poochies!

I love Nemo

I love Shrek

I love tacos

I love all the hot chicks in our area(even when they come home with slobbery mexicans hanging all over them)

and I hate draining tuna cans!

Happy birthday poochies! May your life be as long as the number of cranes it takes to keep me standing when I model for the Michellin tire company billboards. (yes its alot...think hundreds)

Torture--One on One

2005-06-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

Meet Boo.

Meet Boo's sweet-tooth.

Meet Boo's sweet-tooth addiction.

Meet Boo's sweet-tooth's addiction-kicking p&p.

Meet a miserable Boo.

So the story goes (in a not so Peter and Jane way): It was a normal day, normal p&p time, normal questions, not so normal answers.

Seems the Lord wants me to kick my sweet tooth habits out the door, for two whole months. Said it was good for me.

That all seemed good and well two days ago when I first got that from Him.

It's C.'s birthday tonight. Not so bad, but then (as if resisting normal cake and ice-cream wouldn't have been bad enough) his mom decided to make this incredible looking, oreo covered, ice-cream filled dream cake....and I can't touch it.

I'm a frickin addict here. You should see the way I'm shaking from not being able to eat any.

I had to leave the room...seriously...which is why I'm sitting here, at TG's computer, miserable out of my mind. All I can think about is just one bite of that cake concoction that just looked soooo incredibly delicious.

I'll live through this. I will. For two whole months. Once I get past tonight, IF I can get past tonight...I think it will have been a breakthrough...maybe the Lord will decide to shorten my sentence to only ONE month instead of two.

Someone said I was incredibly yielded to let Him ask this of me...at this moment, I think I'm incredibly stupid.

I'm sure there's a great reason for Him asking this of me, maybe it's because I was starting to resemble a whale...who knows.

I'll live...truly I will...

WA HOOOOOO!!

2005-06-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Viva Mexico!!!

Yello everyone...I was just waiting for a few post before I put mine up, or else it looks like I am the only one posting...Heh!

Well to start off with, the reason for this little vacation time was because of a certain someone's 20th birthday....*cough* Poochies *cough*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

So we went down to Mexico for a good 2 fun filled days...With 12 of the HOTTEST women in God's creation!! Yes gentlemen, I kid you not. I spent most my time wondering how on earth we got so many hot women together in the same place!?!

Yes, I am blessed!

So, as the other girls have said already, it was all about Food, Drinks, Beach! I got to tan with poochies in our driveway behind the van so no one could see us...It was swell!! I now have a nice tan...But with the feeling of being burned, I'm just glad I turn brown not red...THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Me and 3 other girls walked down the streets where all the clubs were...Had men drooling (over the others, not me) trying to drag us (literally) into their club...Offering as many free drinks as we could ever want. While this was all very flattering, it was a bit more annoying. I had to keep pushing men's hands off. I was holding my sister-in-law's hand...(One of the most beautiful things on earth) guys were grabbing her...I pushed them off and told them they had better back off before I get violent. Heh, okay so it wasn't all that bad...More humorous I must say...But that is Mexico for you, not that I don't love Mexico, but every country has it's thing.

We went and hung out at a little market of sorts, had fun walking around and seeing all the things, and eating at little Mexican restaurant's...I felt like a tourist, even though I have lived in Mexico 7 years of my life...It was fun to see it like this though.

I got SOOO close to riding a horse on the beach (a life dream of mine) I have never ridden one before, something always happens right when I am so close...Just as it happened this time...Oh well maybe another time.

All this to say...I LOVED IT!!
I had a great time, even hearing the insane woman singing and laughing on the top of their lungs in the front of the car on the way home...Making the oddest sounds in all of God's natural creation...heh, I love you girls...You are crazy!!

Larry signing out...

Well I liked it...

2005-06-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

It was fun.....yeah I'm done now.

Okay, okay so I'll expound a little!!! sheesh the bad vibes I got.....

First rule of thumb: Never expect to make ANY sort of descision when you have 12 GIRLS each with a differing opinion of what would taste good for dinner..
Second rule of thumb: Don't smile at the mexican men
Third rule of thumb: Don't tan on the beach in mexico nude...just don't!!!
Fourth rule of thumb: Don't wear a bikini and expect me to not somehow sneak a few pics of you (you know who you are)
Fifth rule of thumb: If you wear a skirt you will be yelled, whistled and honked at, regardless of how overweight/underweight/alien looking/plain ugly, you are.
Sixth rule of thumb: DON'T DRINK THE WATER I REPEAT DO NOT DRINK THE WATER!! (thankfully I do not speak from personal experience)
Seventh rule of thumb: Never, EVER pay what they tell you to the first 4 times.
Eighth rule of thumb: Never go "around the corner" by yourself if you are female, this I did learn from personal experience.
Ninth rule of thumb: Don't ask the border guard not to check the trunk and don't greet him in French.
Tenth rule of thumb: There IS no spoon.

It was fun, my favorite part was the ride home with Chuck driving. We did not have music in the car...we had been in the car for the better part of 2 hours already, we were going the speed limit....we went mental. Think 99 bottles of beer on the wall...
Thank you to everyone who hauled their fair/good/excelent bottoms down there to make my turn of the decade special, I love you!!!!

I'm just a little pink pumpkin...

2005-06-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

Right then.

Vacation in "Mechico" (as the Harem master would say).

To sum it up in three small words:

Food.

Beach.

Sunburn.

--The end.

Ok, so it wasn't quite that boring. But that was the main gyst of the episode down south. That and birthday parties. (Happy Birthday Poochies!!). Our baby girl is all grown up...*sob*

Eh, grown up and gotten old. Gosh darn it. She just wanted to be like me, didn't quite make it, but at least she's the same age. :D

She posted gross pix of us all over her blog. No, I won't give the link. You guys don't deserve that.

We had great margaritas down there though. They just don't make them the same up here. Hence another *sob*. I have to go and wait six months or so to go down again and enjoy their Paleterias, Tacos Manuel, and Margaritas. Good thing too. I gained 2,000,000 pounds going down there. It'll take me the next six months to burn it all off. heh. It was worth it though.

The water at the beach was frickin cold. Not what I expected for June weather, but it was intense fun none-the-less. Last day, Larry and I decided to run full-speed into the water multiple times. Suicide attempts. I think we need therapy.

I'm a lovely shade of pink at the moment. Thanks to the intense sunlight which I forced myself to fall asleep under (*idiot*idiot*idiot*). Hopefully the shade will turn to a lovely bronze soon enough and I'll become a tanned beach barbie...without the plastic breasts.

Peace, my people. Don't you wish you'd been there?

VACATION TIME!!!

2005-06-20T12:57:00.000-07:00

So the Harem went on a two day vacation and are now all safe and sound at home.

We will now all explain to you our sides of the story, so you will have the pleasure of knowing the way each and every one of us saw it...Then it will be almost as if you had gone with us yourselves.

This is just to let you know why we have not posted in awhile...But have no fear...

LARRYGIRL IS HERE!!

Larry signing out...

Why cans't thou post?

2005-06-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

We are frolicking.

We will post when we are done frolicking.

That is all.

Isn't it amazing, what searching the word "frolicking" does?

Boy do I love Google....

...I don't like it...

2005-06-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

No.

Just no.

Period.

Sorry, Zero, no.

I hate gray.

End of subject.

Not so ended. You can't read my font! Great intentions I'm sure, but , but, but....I think the correct word I'm looking for is ugh. That's it. Ugh.

I know. I'm not very encouraging at the moment, and I'm sure the Lord will deal with me because of it. Lord, forgive my cruelty in not liking the new face of our blog.

I'm going to have small talks with the Harem Master, and after she's had small corrections with me over being so non-understanding, she'll reassure me that it'll get better, and I'll regain my respect for your design skills Zero.

...

But until then....

I shiver in disgust...

Ugh.

Of Haremite outings

2005-06-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

We all went out for the first time as a Harem yesterday evening, it was so hardcore!!! We drove to a certain store to get someone a present, only to find that it was barred, chained and barbwired for the night already. Oh well, lets play the glad game, our driver- who will remain nameless-then procceeded to do three 360 degree turns in the parking lot, just for fun.
We also put instant witnessing into practice, and when I say "we" I mean Woozers who gave two nice people a tract whillst we made a pit stop at 7-11.
Then we went to visit our "sister home" and we all got into our undies, had a big pillow fight with our huge feather pillows and licked whip cream off of eachother........"WHAP" well now that we're back to reality....... we just had quality bonding time with our female counterparts, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination, but it definetly didn't involve whip cream!!!
We're going to try and have more Haremite outings, hopefully they will be more eventful than this one and they will happen weekly, it should work out nicely as we already are planning something for the Harem next week. I'll see you there el hombre's mi aigas spaggehtti.....and that is the extent of my knowledge. El Hallelujah!!!!

10 things you may not have known about me...

2005-06-13T16:25:00.000-07:00

Heh, just for fun, I decided to post this list...some of you might be shocked by what you find out.

--I'm ambidexterous.

--My favorite styles of music are Hard rock--and Classical.

--I've only been in the FD Family for 5 years.

--I used to be a pretty good ventriloquist.

--I've never had a boyfriend.

--I'm eternally an optimistic dreamer, but only because I choose to ignore the reality that I see around me and choose instead to believe that there's a better world out there.

--I don't like chocolate anymore.

--I hate peanuts.

--I have twelve piercings.

--I love everything girly and pink, but I'm still a rockchild at heart...thus the piercings.

Heh, wonder if you discovered anything new about me...

Peace, love and revolution!!

And Heeeeeeeeeeere's JOHNNY!

2005-06-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

Well Ladies and Gentlemen....It's that time!

The time I promised you all would be coming...

The time I KNOW you've been waiting for....

Yea yea, get on with it.

THE PRAISE ACTIVITY!!!!! *loud applause*

Now, I'm going to put here, for your veiwing pleasure, a praise scenario!

THis is for all you men out there! See how YOU can turn THIS situation into a praise!

now...picture this....

Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing......
You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports all night. You hear
her stumble into bed around 4. You wake up next morning and go outside
to the family Volvo, which she used last night. You are happy to see it
all in one piece. But ...... Wait a minute ......

.......

An observation of myself

2005-06-12T13:24:00.000-07:00

In my entire life, consisting of 19 years or so, my eyes have slowly opened to the truth of my character.
But these past few month have opened them more then I ever dreamed of. Everyone goes through things in life that change them, make them a better person.
That big "Jordan" everyone has to cross. And when they do, it can effect them two ways.

1. They can become bitter and angry, and blame everyone, or themselves for everything.
2. They can let it make them into the person the Lord wants them to be, the reason he allowed it in the first place.

I thought I had crossed mine a year ago...Nothing could have been worse, more emotional, more dramatic for me. And I was sure nothing could be worse. And that I could handle anything that came my way.
And after I "crossed my Jordan" I did change, and become a better person for it. And I moved on with my life, and things were great. The problem is, when you begin to feel like you've "made it" that's when the Lord normally sees fit to allow you to cross your second "Jordan"...

You see, this was something I did not know, I thought there was only one "Jordan" in each persons life, and after that, everything else in so small in comparison. But boy oh boy was I wrong!
This year of strengthening has certainly proven to be a time of heart searching, and MANY "Jordan's". At first it was hard to understand, but now I can honestly say that I am very glad for it! I have come to know myself in a way I never knew before. And I found many shortcomings that I never took into account before.

All in all, the Lord has been showing me many things in my life where I need drastic change. And he has used many people in my life to bring it about. If you are one of those people...THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
You have played a big role in helping me to fulfill the Lord's plan for my life, and though it may not have always been pleasant for either you or me...I know the Lord will have his perfect will, and I just hope that I can learn everything that I am suppose too out of every situtation I come across.

And if at some point in my life I have ever done something to hurt someone (and I know there are a few out there) I'm sorry! In the process of learning I know I will continue to make mistakes, but I hope for the most part I can learn my lessons.

I just felt the need to post this...I know it's a bit of an open thing to post on a blog...But I figure it's a good thing...heh!

Larry signing out...

I'm Grateful

2005-06-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

We're coming up to the one year anniversary of the best thing IMO that happened to the Family in my lifetime. To look back on my lifestyle a year ago is like looking at another person in another place, thanks to the renewal.
I marvel at the sheer genius of God and Mama and Peter to instigate those blessed six months. I feel it is THE defining factor that accounts for the strengthening of The Family, I feel it had more to do with us reclaiming our place as the Endtime Army than any of the criteria, restructuring, ammendments, etc. It carried the restructuring right to the doorstep of everyone who wanted to be a diciple. The renewal made it personal, made it tough, made us fight for it, made us change.
Twelve months ago I could have told you what the top ten movies were in theatres, I could have told you how Roger Ebert felt about each one, I could have told you in great detail the latest misadventures of Jack Bauer (though perhaps not as skillfully as Dave Barry), I could have told you who was to appear on SNL come Saturday, I could have told you who was in negotiations to star in what, I could have told you what glory hog was engaged, married, divorced, pregnant, cheating, grieving, in rehab, recovering, sailing, smooching, changing their hair, losing weight, gaining weight, getting surgery and UGH!....I'm beginning to sicken myself.
But that was the old me. The new me admittedly sometimes misses some of that stuff, but the new me is happier. The new me feels more like a disciple, a whole lot stronger in faith, a whole bunch less compromised, and a whole lot more productive.
It's pretty sad to look back at the general state the Family at large was in, where all that stuff was a staple to happy living, a neccesity. I shudder to think of where we would be right now, with all the changes that faithfully present themselves to us, with all that's expected of us, still dragging the weight of addictions behind us. We wouldn't be here.....we would have lost our place, I'm pretty sure of it.
The renewal is the best thing that's happened to me. I believe it's the best thing that happened to The Family, we're going places now that we weren't even headed in a year ago, we're reaching for standerds that weren't previously considered, we are reaching our goals more consistently. Let's hope the notmovingoners don't get smart and copy us, imagine how much more sucsess they'd have if they curbed their Internet habits and actually did something independent of a chat room.
Thanks to The Man Upstairs, Mama, and Peter. You gave me back my discipleship. I'm grateful.

Life is life ...is...LIFE!!

2005-06-11T14:34:00.000-07:00

We have 2 strapping dogs in our home, and 1 lovely lady to care for them.

This lovely lady left on a trip, and left our self apointed "Harem pervert" (Timmy, also known as "spy") to care for them in her stead...(to sleep with, feed, medicate...stuff)

He has done a sexy job of it, and the 2 strapping dogs are doing wonderfully...he got sick, and was almost deathly. So Larry (Me) said I could sleep with them one night. And as a good man he walked me down to the dark and very scary like Cabin...and leaves...saying the dogs will protect me from evils like...WILD-dogs.

I get all cozy like in my bed, pat the dogs on the head to say good night (to tell them they better protect me), say a prayer to give everyone a good sleep (to beg the Lord that I live threw the night...okay so it wasn't THAT bad) ,and I went to sleep (after 3 hours of tossing and turning from weird noises outside the door).

In the morning I get dressed and open the door to let the dogs out (to wake them up) ...ahem, I said, to wake them up!!!

Okay so our strapping dogs like to sleep...I finally persuaded the younger of the 2 to rouse himself from his slumber, and he happliy wandered around the room as I attempted to get the other up (pushed and shoved...okay not really)
She finally opened her eyes and sat up. I held the door open, and the 1st one ran out...the 2nd just sat and stared at me...

"You've got to be out of your mind if you THINK I am going to leave my nice carpeted floor and go outside" is what she MUST have been thinking...

"Come here Gypsy, come here girl...okay get up! Come on! Get out here right now!! OKAY, GET YOUR BUTT OUT THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS SECOND YOUNG LADY!! I mean it, don't make me say it again!!!"

I yelled this over and over, and she continued to stare at me as if I were some maniac...okay so it was early, and I was a bit grumpy...

I realized it was not working so I grabbed her collar, pulled her out of the cabin, and shut the door...*sigh* The life of dog care!

I now had a bit of respect for our self made "harem pervert", and his "perverted" ways (his innocents)

And such is my tale

Larry signing out...

Did I say something??

2005-06-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

REVOLUTIONARY SEX!!!!!!!!!

...uh, yeah...eh heh heh eh...

Larry signing out...

Remember...Moses whacked a rock

2005-06-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

Yes...complaints complaints. Thats ALL I've gotten since sharing the lovliness of my haremites with the world.

"I cant read the font"

"I dont like the colors"

"It looks childish"

"stop commenting on your own posts"

"murmur murmur murmur"

Do I have a freakin' cactus, up my freakin A**? Throw me a freakin' bone here!

Heh..heh. BOY do I love being dramatic!

Naw, I'm really not irritated. Remember...."praise is a key that unleashes an ocean of My spiritual power, which can engulf and wash away any of the enemy's obstacles(cacti)"

But, while taking in the desert scenery, I made some changes. They aren't finished, since just changing the BG color throws a MULTITUDE of things off. I'll have to completely re-do the banner, which already took me a whole evening of tendon-ripping finger work!

So please bare with the low readability factors that will be looming over my head for a while until I get around to pleasing everyone... strapping my donkey to a pole/strapping my son and I to the donkey....and...flying home?

And while I'm doing that...I'll be putting up a small praise activity for the rest of you!

Because...well....I care for you...it's kinda magical and it just takes two.

Stay tuned....

Dearests...

2005-06-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

We love our men!!!!
Yes we know we complain about the lack of men, but actually we counted the other night and we came up with 9 single men in the area, and thats not counting the DILFS!!
They are quality men and they are lovely, perfect example, today a certain Philmeister bought all the girls in the office a rose, there was no reason for it, he just did it cause he's a SUPER nice guy, it made our day. WE LOVE YOU PHIL!!!!
As cool as Miami is....there are so many nice men here and we just need to count our blessings, how would the nice men in the area feel if they read our blog?? not so nice I tell you, this is just a shout out to all our hottie men in the area (you know who you are) WE LOVE YOU !!!!!!

An interesting thought...

2005-06-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'm learning about praise right now in my life.

I used to proudly think I was pretty adept at praising, as the words "Thank you Jesus" and "Praise the Lord" weren't far from my lips most of the time. Whenever I was in an uncomfortable situation, I thought I was a pretty good praiser when I'd exclaim "Oh well, Praise the Lord anyways".

Recently, after reading the book summaries of "Prison to Praise" and "Power to Praise" I discovered that my skills of praising weren't all that great. In fact, I was probably closer to being a chronic grumbler than a skilled and professional praiser.

The thought of praising the Lord for the bad things instead of simply thanking him for the good things and resigning myself to "think happy thoughts" while going through something, was a new concept for me.

Not necessarily new in that I hadn't heard about it, or thought of it once or twice in my life, more new in that I'd never actually thought of a practical application of doing it. Previously, the thought of praising the Lord for the bad things seemed almost sacriligious, because it seemed like I was taking the blame off of "the enemy attacking me" and putting it as "the Lord allowed this to happen to me". And I somehow always forgot to add the clause that He allowed it for my good.

After seriously contemplating these strange thoughts for a while, it kinda sorta started to make sense. After all, I know that as a kid I'd memorized the verse "In everything give thanks", but I hadn't really thought he meant...everything...

So a few days ago, after having read those books and had small mindset changes, I decided I wanted to try this whole "praise the Lord for the bad stuff as well as the good" dealio. I mean, it couldn't be too bad, right? It does actually make sense, because you're getting your mind off of yourself, and your situation, and instead getting your eyes on the Lord and trusting that "though he slay me, yet will I trust in him"...and even praise Him for doing so.

...Three days and counting since I made that small commitment, and I'm discovering I'm going to need more than just small mindset changes.

Take for example Monday. Eternally the busiest day of my week. Already, upon arriving at work and making my daily to-do list, I find I have got wayyy too much to do for one day, and somehow I've got to try to fit it all in, and get it done well. Then, halfway through the day, I have a meeting with some of my coworkers and find that there's more work for me to do...throw in the addition that I was also not feeling well, and I've got quite the list to be on a major bummer.

No, no, nobody would see that I was on that bummer, because I would put on my smiling face, say I could handle it, and go on my internally grumbling way.

...Day one, and I've already failed a test...or have I?

The Lord is always faithful to punch through with His help though, and halfway through my grumbling spree I was reminded of a key quote I'd memorized some time before. "Keep your eyes off yourself and your situation, and on Me and the keys. Praise Me, even when you don't feel like it, and I will take care of the situation and bring about Rom. 8:28, even from the most trying of circumstances"...I was convicted. Here I had made all these grand plans of being the worlds newest, bestest praise warrior, and within a day of my commitment, I'm on a greased downward slide to becoming the world's bestest internal grumbler.

So, I decided to put feet to my faith, and put into action the commitments I'd made the day before.

I started praising the Lord for every gosh darn bad thing I could think of...

...But when I did, an amazing thing would happen...Whenever I'd say "Thank you Lord for such-and-such (bad thing)" my thoughts would keep going and I'd hear a "because it's helping me to learn such-and-such (good thing)". For example, I'd say "Thank you Lord that I was given so much work to do today" and He'd finish up with "because it shows that I (me) have been faithful, and people trust that I'll get the job done".

Soon it wasn't just empty praising anymore. Because there was an actual reason why all of this stuff was happening, and all of it was good!!

I still have a long way to go before I become the world's newest, bestest, praise warrior, but hey, I've found there's hope. And even if I don't get all the work done I'd like, and I come down with the stomach flu, and have to spend the rest of my week in bed, or whatever else could happen to me this week, I know that all I have to do is take my eyes off of myself, and off of my situation, and simply look to the Lord, because I know that He'll take care of the situation, and bring about Rom. 8:28.

...even from the most trying of circumstances...

The Whore!!!!

2005-06-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

Well, it was freeday, and me and 2 pregnent mommies went to go shopping for some needs. On our way home we dicide to stop in at the mall to look for sales at the "Motherhood" store. They say they will only be half an hour, and we can meet up at the front entrance...this sounds wonderful to me, as its been a long time since I've been in a mall.

I begin to walk around, looking at all the sexy outfits, and stores...poping in a few of them to look around...(Though I had the total of 4 dollors in my pocket)...I hear the great music playing in the background, and even kinda start feelin the groove.

Then, it happened..."Wow, that chick is so hot, I love her hair style, and look at that outfit...I wonder what I would look like in it?...WOAH, I think that dude looked at me...wait, AW MAN...there's his girlfriend, maybe if I looked like that I could get a guy like that. I really want that shirt...and that skirt to go with it...and look at those shoes, and that bra...and..and..."

The mall then began to spin around me...my eyes rolled back in my head...the music sounded so much louder then it did two minutes ago..."MY GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME??"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I had entered...THE WHORE!!

Selfish greed, lust, want, gain, money, power, looks...I began to want it all..."GROSS" I yelled...and began to run for the door...I looked down at my watch...."Oh dear God, I still have 15 minutes to wait here!!" I began to panic, what was I to do for 15 minutes in this place???

As I looked around, I began to see a pattern...THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!!!...everyone was doing the same thing...they all wanted the same thing, it was a sick circle they were all stuck in...it didn't matter if they were prep, goth, punk, skater, or anything.
They all think they are different, from eachother...but they are still following a crowd...they are all still doing the same things.

Its all about getting more for yourself, never being happy or fulfilled, thinking about what others think of you, more money, more people wanting to be you...IT MADE ME SICK...but at the same time...SAD!

It was then that I was reminded of what a blessing my life is...and how I have so much to offer them. I couldn't look down on them, or be grossed out anymore...instead, I SO BADLY wanted to help them see the truth, the way out, an end to their searching!!!!

Then I felt ashamed of myself, for so easily falling prey to those temptations that I have been taught about my whole life...but it only went to prove my very visible and always present human nature, which so sickenss me to death...

But hey, we are on this earth for a reason! So help me Lord to learn what I need to before my time is up, and to help as many people as I can before it is too late...THEN TAKE ME HOME TO BE WITH YOU LORD!!!!!!!!

Larry signing out...

PP and PP

2005-06-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

I dont know about you, but boy do I LOVE the letter "P" nowadays.
I'm about to link to something VERY deep and life changing for me.
I want you to download BOTH the files that start with the letter "P" they are the only two files on there, and they are VERY special!
Did I mention I love the letter "P"?
All the best words start with that letter...i.e...

Pilfer, Plagarizer,....PRAISE....etc.

God said: "It really makes you glad that they took My Son and drove nails into His hands, doesn't it? It makes you glad that they took My Son and drove nails through His feet. It really makes you glad that they drove a spear through His side and the blood flowed down His body and dripped on the ground. It makes you very happy and you laugh with great joy because they did this to My Son, doesn't it?"

Everything became very silent. I didn't know how to answer.

"It makes you glad that all that was done to My Son, doesn't it?"

Finally I had to say: "Yes, Lord, it does. I don't understand it, Father, but I am glad."

For a moment I wondered if perhaps I had given the wrong answer. Perhaps I had misunderstood.

Then to my great relief I heard Him say: "Yes, My son, I want you to be glad!"

"Now listen, My son. For the rest of your life when anything happens to you that is any less difficult than what they did to My Son, I want you to be just as glad as you were when I first asked you if you were glad Jesus died for you."

I said: "Yes, Lord, I understand. For the rest of my life I am going to be thankful. I'll praise You, I'll rejoice, I'll sing, I'll laugh, I'll shout, I'll be filled with joy for whatever You permit to come into my life."

The next morning I was sitting on the edge of my bed when I heard a voice: "What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting here wishing I didn't have to get up!"

"I thought we made an agreement last night."

"But Lord, I didn't know You meant things like this!"

"Remember what I said, 'in everything.'"

I said: "But Lord, I've got to be honest with You. I've been sitting on the edge of my bed every morning for twenty years wishing I didn't have to get up. I've been thinking how wonderful it would be if I could just lie down for five more minutes."

But the Spirit said: "You are supposed to be thankful that it is time to get up.".........

Home of the PP

Simon says, "click it, or ticket"

Just click on the link.

Boobs anyone?

2005-06-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

BREAST ID SYSTEM

(o)(o)
perfect breasts

( + )( + )
fake silicone breasts

(*)(*)
high nipple breasts

(@)(@)
big nipple breasts (you know who you are)

oo
a cups

{ O }{ O }
d cups

(oYo)
wonder bra breasts

( ^)( ^)
cold breasts

(o)(O)
lopsided breasts

(Q)(Q)
pierced breasts

(p)(p)
breasts w/hanging tassels

()(o)
bitten by a vampire breasts

o/o/
Grandma's breasts

( - )( - )
flat against the shower door breasts

electric shock breasts

|o||o|
android breasts

(/)(o)
scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o)
extra nipple breasts

($)($)
Jenny McCarthy's breasts

(^o)(o)
zit on your breast

( o Y o )
poses for playboy magazine breasts

Larry signing out...

Nonsense!!

2005-06-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

This is hillarious, basically this blog is all of us haremites and our sister home, commenting on each others posts, and that makes up the whole site, it's hillarious!!!!
but it does happen to be extremly funny, I enjoy it anway....
I'd just like to clear the air that we truly do love the Miami home, they are precious to us, we loves them, we truly do... heck if we hated the home with all the men in it, how far would that get us??

Ahem... (sings)
We love Miami, oh yes we do, We love Miami our lus.. (no wait) Love is true
We will prevail one day...over youuuuu oh Miami we love you *flashes*

Hehe....

TG's Highlights

2005-06-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

Since I haven't posted in about a week and still have nothing significant to say, I'm giving family and friends some of the weeks' highlights.

Friday: United prayer against negativity - Never easy, always effective. So far the effects have been clearly seen and leave me wondering why I don't get united prayer more often (other than to spare my poor Home). Outreach for a few hours. Dohler provisioned dinner at Applebees. I spilled my water. They can't take me anywhere.

Saturday: Hearty barbie. See below.

Sunday: Freeday. Paula provisioned us lunch at Souplantation for the haremites for watching Kaylee a few weeks ago. All the haremites went, but Chuck and Amy didn't eat. Salad is yummy.

Monday: Hearty barbie the sequel. The Oceansideimites came over for a Memorial Day BBQ. My first time manning the grill all by myself. I feel like I slayed my dragon.

Tuesday: Sushi.

Wednesday: Bible study. Made chicken salad for dinner, had lots of help. A bunch of teenagers came over for teen activity. Remembered I was a teen. Joined in on teen activity. Had to act out "The Rape of England" for a bunch of people I'd never met. Took them at least two minutes to guess. Tried every possible rape postition. Humbling.

Thursday: No highlights yet. I'm hopeful.

Eureka!! Confessions of someone who never learns...

2005-06-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

I discovered something incredible yesterday. It was a lesson learned that I hope I don't forget...bah, I know I'll forget, but I wish I wouldn't.

I found out that when I don't get my p&p time in the morning, I am an exceptionally horrible person! How people can even live around me on those days is completely beyond me. I don't know, somehow they manage, God Bless them.

I discovered this interesting fact when after two days without p&p time, coupled with an awful case of PMS, I turned out to be a *itching, self-absorbed, meany (yes, people do still use that word, don't look so shocked). I even yelled at someone (hey, watch your thoughts, it's actually not a normal occurence for me).

Why I'm confessing all of this over the wide expanse of the internet, I don't know...I suppose it's good for my humility at least.

I am hoping that I learn from this great lesson, and remember to get my p&p time daily.

...I'm too much of a tame person, I don't yell enough...I should start now...

...uh, woops, *cough*, did I just say that out loud?

...I'll never learn...

Living a Soldier's life

2005-06-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

(Jesus:)
It's the day of accountability, and I can't protect you from disobedience, unyieldedness, and disregard of the standard of discipleship that you've chosen.
It's like when someone joins the special forces. When you sign up, you are the one deciding to join, you're the one deciding that you want to go through whatever it takes, because you want the honor of serving in the special forces. So they expect you to live up to the rules that you agreed to - or they expect you to resign if you go through their specialized training then decide that you don't have what it takes. But if you stick it out, they expect you to live the life you signed up for, and it's a diciplined life!
You are accountable more then ever to choose this day whom and how you will serve, and not to halt between full discipleship and other places of service. Choose and be counted either as a member of the special forces, a member of the regular army, or a member of the reserves. But whichever division of my army you are in, give it your all!
(End of message:)

That is a quote from the letter I read this morning. And it really stood out to me. Because in these recent days, things are getting harder, and the battles more intense. It's been a struggle to keep my eyes on the vision, and see the importance of my place of service. Its so easy to want to quit, or go to anyother place of service. And the thing is, never in my whole life did I ever doubt my place, or think that I couldn't make it. But in these last few months, things have been getting so much tougher, and I began asking myself if I had what it takes to be a true disicple.
But the Lord has been so encouraging, telling me that he would never give me more then I could bear, and to keep passing on all my cares to him, and he will work it out for me.

So, to anyone out there who is striving to keep your head above the water, hold on. The boat is out there, and it won't be long before you will see your reward!

This is Larry signing out...

uhhh.....ATTENTION!

2005-05-30T23:12:00.000-07:00

YEEAAAAAAA...........I didn't exactly authorize this bartering scheme of Poochies. I realize she has good intentions.....but honestly how DARE SHE??

30.....is our last offer.......

Black Hole

2005-05-30T21:07:00.000-07:00

There is a place that is sucking men...
It's a black hole, Men go in and they do not come out, they are heard from but never seen or felt again. This ominous place is otherwise known as the "Miami Home", they currently hold the entire western stock of men ages 18-55 *wink* and there is no word as to how negotiations are working out between their home and ours. They took our precious, our most prized member of the Harem, and they gave us nothing in return, They have also terminated all contact with the Harem since they now have what they want, I"m upset and I demand a trade!!!!
Tina precious was worth more than they could ever repay, but since they have no intention of giving her back, I will just have to settle for oh say....10 men.
They, of course, would have to live up to the afore posted critera and would have to be willing wild wolly workers for Jesus. They would have to perform various Harem Duties, none of which would be me, as I am fasting any sort of Sexual contact with every species known to mankind.
I am asking for 10 men, if you would like to negotiate this price, feel free to post your idea of what a fair trade would be, I await it with bated breath......

Security Check

2005-05-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

AHEM...if any of you veiwing men would like to help out with Harem duties, you must first go through Chuck, not THROUGH Chuck, but...sigh, never mind...

But in anycase, here is a good quote to live and love by...

"The Law of Love is simply loving others unselfishly, without regard for self. It's not only sexual, but it pervades every area of your lives."

We hope you live by this statement, if ever entering our Harem...have a good day!!

Larry signing out

My DYNAMIC talent

2005-05-29T19:59:00.001-07:00

THere I was, perched in front of my Sleek, sophistocated laptop. My agent (wilbur) sprawled behind me. His long soft pillowy body supporting my back from the cold hard wall. My face is scrunched into a half-born scowl as I concentrate on some very serious codeing.
Suddenly I feel his body lurch, breaking my concentration. I know he has something to say so I switch to our shared telepathic channel #7.

"You know" He says, as if we had been talking about it all along. "You do have talent".

I sigh..."Haven't we been over this before?" "The only reason you're still my agent is because I'm good in bed(DID YA HEAR THAT YOU MALE SPECIMINES???)"

I begin to hear him wheezing and I lean forward to lessen the weight of my large and in-charge body on his supple form.

"Thanks" He says, while filling his lungs with fresh air.

"But you have to hear me out"

I roll my eyes. "Thats what Hank said, before he tried to take me roughly in the barn...against my will."

"Lets have a little trust here!" He says.

I can sense he's feeling a little edgy.

"Okay, fine. Tell me WILBUR what's this "talent" of mine? eh?"

"Well...ever since I met you, and....ahem....became your "agent", I've noticed that nothing you do or say is origional to you"

My scowl face turns to a look of shock.....I press back against him until he starts to sputter....

"No, no,....I'm not done yet!!"

I ease up just the tiniest bit.

"Okay, but one false move and......" I press back even harder then before to make my point.

"OKAY OKAY.....I get it" He wheezes.

"As I was saying, I was noticing this "indiscrepancy" in your work and daily schedule.
At first I thought you were just a cheap looser BUT THEN!!" He shouted as he felt me move back just the slightest bit. "I realized something wonderful....You have talent in that!!"

"Thats it...you're done for mister" I said through gritted teeth.

"NO REALLY, its a wonderful thing! You see someone else's work, and you take it for your own. No shame no blame, you just pilfer it! And you do it with such flare, that you actually pass it as your own! And I realized, thats a wonderful talent! No money or time spent on scheming up great things, you simply look and listen for other people to do that for you. Then you swoop down like a vulture and devour. You do it quickly and hide the evidence so well, hardly any one ever suspects you!"

I gulped down a lump in my throat. Everything he had just said was true. My well kept secret had been discovered, wait....not only discovered, but heralded as my one true talent!!

How was I to handle this?

If my favorite pillow could see right through me.....who knows what other victims knew about my sly handling of their wares?

Yes....even Wilbur had been a victim, though he accepted it with much grace. Ever since I saw him....I had been jealous of his plush, wide figure....So I immediately grew mine to match, then said it was him that was trying to keep up with me!
I was thoroughly embarrassed that my secret had been discovered.

Then suddenly, my small mouth formed the best it could....into a sinister smirk. I could definently use this to my advantage. If I said it with enough pizzaz and fan fare, I could pass this off as something dynamic! Think of the possibilities! I rubbed my hands together with glee, as I thought of the scads of jealous fans that would be writing me letters, begging me to pilfer their well thought through ideas.

I'd never have to WORK AGAIN!

I hugged Wilbur tightly and ran off to spread my pilfering seeds to the rest of my home members. I had already thought of a title for my new found profession.

PLAGERIZER

Yes, I would be a professional plagerizer. I thought of starting an online course. I would become rich in seconds!

This entire scene happend just minutes ago. After squeezing Wilbur, I headed out into the hallway. Hulking myself down the dark corridor.....I came upon someone typing furiously on our home computer. I cautiously peered over their shoulder. They were BLOGGING!

"Why didnt I think of this before!" I thought loudly to myself.

Wilbur screamed at me to stop yelling. I shut off our telepathic channel.

Then I realized.....of course I couldn't have thought of this first. I'm a professional plagerizer! I must PILFER things!

I careened back down the hallway, almost splattering Chester(our dog) against the wall. He didnt mind.....he adores me. I landed infront of my computer with a thud! I placed my pilfer reaking fingers on it, sighing with relief as I heard its crispy clacking. Soon the world would know, and I would get rich!!

First I need to display my talent! ahem......if you'll place your attention to the LINKS section of my blog, you will see a new addition called...."frog and dog".

Yes my friends and fans, this is the blog I pilfered from. THe very same! I read the source code and set my professionalizm to work! If you compare them, you will see some definite simmilarities. Not to mention frog and dog are just WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY nude/fester. I intend to pilfer their writing style.

I dont think dog will mind, he's too worried about staying hung. Its frog I'm worried about.

BUt no matter....I'm a professional. I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE THINGS!!

I'll get back to you on the online course details, as well as perfered paying methods.

Feel free to send me pictures of you kowtowing to my name......thank you thank you my fans. Without you......I dunno.....I'd have less money I'm sure!

...I ate too much...

2005-05-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

I thought I needed to post something to keep myself from being labled as a unfaithful blogger....eh, who cares. I am an unfaithful blogger. Bite me.

Today was a glorious W&R. We went out to eat at Soup Plantation, and seeing as it was free day and I didn't have anything better to do, I stuffed myself....what an idiot I am. I look like I'm 5 months pregnant and feel like I just digested an elephant...whole.

I'll never learn.

I am currently wearing the biggest, baggiest t-shirt I could find in hopes that it will hide my expanding waistline until I digest that darn elephant...

On another note, I had great wordtime this morning.

This is a great quote I found today. I'm posting it in hopes that it'll touch someone else's heart like it touched mine.

"When the Devil smashes your life and leaves you in broken pieces, God can come in, take those pieces, and create the most beautiful stained glass window the world has ever seen. God loves to turn our every impossibility into the most wonderful opportunity you have ever had."

I'm a stained glass window...neat man, neat.

Some pics

2005-05-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Yours truly and Larry. We come in all shapes and sizes here in SoCal.

The Dee

2005-05-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

Ranchero roots.

BBQ

2005-05-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

Our happy home, minus Nathan, the fellow in the studly blue and green.

Hearty Barbie

2005-05-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Well, more of a girlie barbie. There was hummus and pasta salad involved. But veal and hotdogs to keep the boys (all whooping five of them) happy. A celebration of our latest arrivals/victims; Angie, Kyle, Michelle and Timmy. This brings our numbers up to a very FD figure of seventeen. I had fun.

Harem Duties

2005-05-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

Being in a Harem isn't all girlie stuff, for example today, I washed Four cars and Waxed two of them too!!! My arm is currently hanging on by a thread, and under my skin is probably a bunch of torn mucles, I know this isn't paticularly enticing to hear but I'm getting to my point which is "ahem".......
We need men!!! Not just to wax the cars and take out the garbage (although that would be useful) but they would also need to perfom Harem duties which are sometimes plesant....... so if you're interested you must be, Blonde but dark, tall but not too tall but definetly over 6'4, You'd have to be Italian/Canadian/Australian/Irish/Atlantican (the city that sank) /Spanish/Asian, and you must have an American passport so that you wouldn't have to make visa trips.
You would also need to be a cuddly person cause we have people who like that...You'd also have to be into wrestling cause we have people who like that too. You'd have to be between ages 18-55 (you know who I'm talking about) you'd also have to be hairless but slightly hairy cause ....no wait no one here likes that (no offense to hairy people, we're sure you're awesome) You'd have to be into working out but also into eating junk food and other activities, but you must be ready to stop at any time no matter what your activity and make time to get us a cup of water cause we're eating and feeling to lazy to do so, you must also be a, Aries/Aquarian/Leo/Pices/Taurus/Sag, with a Gemini moon and a Cancer rising.
Any Takers????

Wishful Thinking

2005-05-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

This morning, I felt like a true mother!

I ran in circles around the trampoline as three children jumped gleefully. I was working up a sweat, praying they would not fall to certain death. I took a deep breath, and began to watch the happy children. And soon my mind began to wander…the kids were oh so happy jumping and singing “ring around the roses” but purposely falling at the beginning of the song…pulling the other kids on top of themselves, and laughing hysterically about it.

Then I imagined myself in that situation…only it was 2 sexy men ("accidentally" falling on top of me) A large grin then crossed my face, at the thought of how a situation like that would end…heh heh!!

Wake up Michelle….think…children…jumping….CERTAIN DEATH!!!!

And so I began my frantic running again…sigh.

Truth is…there’s only women here…and well, that's just fine and peachy. Jesus is more then enough man for the lot of us…but that still hasn't stopped me from wishful thinking!!

Larry signing out...

Blog? What's a Blog?

2005-05-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

Yea, so here I am sitting all peachy and everything one fine unsunny day, when I hear roars of laughter coming from our adjoining room...not one to sit idle while there's fun afoot, I of course had to go investigate. My dear Harem master/mistress it seems had decided to create a blog in our honor (so sweet of her)...ahem...although I was quite appalled at her picture of choice for a certain link on here...YES I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT NIGHTMARE ONE....whew, those were not pretty pictures running though my head for hours afterwards...I think I'll live though.

All hail the master Harem Mistress!! I bow before your excellence....though not your choice of photos...

Heh.....Heh

2005-05-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

Yea.....what she said....

I have such wit in my harem

Of Harems and...other stuff

2005-05-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

This is my first post as a member of the Harem, I am but a small part of the makeup of our large and in charge Harem, Chuck is our master, we loves her.
Now when you think of a Harem....sex may come to mind, but in our case I belive Harem stands for ......... Hot Arses Reaching Extreme Menopause.
Enjoy!!!

THE Harem

2005-05-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

All, I just want to say that I am so very glad to be a part of the Harem...and I also want to say, that my post will be dull compared to the posts of the wonderful writers that are part of the Harem.

I am the newest member of this Harem, and Chuck (the harem master) has welcomed me with open arms, and I have felt nothing but love from Chuck and the other Haremites since joining...I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

Larry signing out...

My first post....ever

2005-05-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

I am no longer a blogging virgin. My narcisstic tendencies now have a free outlet. Never mind that it's unoriginal, I thrive on unoriginality. Enough about me. I just want to give a shout out to all my fellow haremites. May this blog be as cool as we are and run as long as I am.

I'll tell you about my day tomorrow or something...

And Chuck...I washed the sheets while you were gone....are you proud of me or what?

ATTENTION!!!

2005-05-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Chuck has a (word that means copulating and rymes with three other words in this post) truck.....and needs buck.

Only has duck.

and I am five star